Cancer, stroke, Alzheimer’s, a bad fall… These are the terms we never want to hear associated with our parents. Everything in our life changes when our parents get critically ill. Suddenly, we have to take care of them. Suddenly, we are required to leave everything and care for them. Suddenly, our worlds are turned upside down, and we’re left to care for our aging and sick parents.
Although taking them to a care home in Dartford is a sensible choice, it’s not exactly the easiest decision to make. You have to consider your parents’ view about this, as well as your siblings’. Also, you have to manage your finances well. Can you pool the amount of money you need each month for a care home? Do you need a government stipend? And which care home is right for your sick parents?
The Kid Who Doesn’t Work
Often, the brunt of the work falls on the one who doesn’t work. If there are five of you, anyone who doesn’t work full-time will be considered the de facto caregiver in the family. If everyone’s working full-time, the one who’s house is near your parents’ will be the one to take over the caregiving duties. If this is not a viable solution, someone with the biggest house has to fill in big shoes. Sick parents need a spacious area or an extra room.
Isn’t it unfair to be the caregiver of choice because your life isn’t as “busy” as your siblings? You may want to take care of your parents, but that doesn’t give everyone the right to ask you to stop living your life. This situation usually eats up the foundation of every family. How many times have we seen families break apart because of this particular issue?
Share the Burden
But you don’t want your parents to worry. So who’s going to take up the cudgels of caregiving? The right answer is that everyone should take an active role. If your sibling is doing the biggest work, that doesn’t mean that you should not contribute. If someone else is doing the heavy-lifting of taking care of your sick parents, the least you can do is to ease out their financial burdens. Contribute more for the medical needs of your parents.
You are all responsible for your parents. If you’re a solo child, make sure that you have a support team. You need all the emotional support you can get from your friends and relatives. After all, this is about your mental health, too.
Be realistic when dealing with sick parents. Ask for a second opinion because you need to know everything you can about their conditions. Read up as much as you can. Talk with your siblings. Negotiate the plan and be fair to yourself.
Don’t try to take everything on your shoulders. Learn to share the burden with the rest of the family. Your parents need love, understanding, and patience. They need to see you all working as one.